Two Sides of Prayer

Books, articles and essays without number have been written about prayer.  Even Country Parson has written a few.  What more is there to be said?  It seems that no matter how much has been written and said about prayer, the same questions keep coming up from the faithful and skeptic alike.  With that in mind, I want to discuss something about personal prayer.  Corporate (congregational) prayer will perhaps, be for another time.

Start by giving up everything taught in Sunday school about praise, petition and intercession.  Just lay it aside.  There are really but two sides of prayer.  One is to engage in conversation with God.  The other is to engage in self examination with God and another person, most often one of the psalmists, but just as likely a pastor or close friend. There is not special language of prayer needed, no formulas, no scripted words required.

Conversation with God begins with sharing what’s on your heart – your feelings, anxieties, fears, joys, celebrations, griefs, etc., also what’s in your head – thoughts, ideas, doubts, wonders, questions, etc.  Like any conversation, it’s a matter of give and take.  You have to be quiet and listen.  My old spiritual director once told me that I didn’t shut up long enough for God to get a word in edgewise.  The other day I sat next to three people who had just met again after many years.  One of them began to talk and didn’t stop for nearly an hour.  That’s not conversation.  What happens when you stop talking and start listening?  Probably nothing.  You will sit there quietly listening only to find every kind of thought intruding.  Sit quiet and listen anyway.  The still small voice of God will come to you in the events of the day and the voices of people whom you meet.

Is there a place for petitions and intercessions in conversation with God?  Yes, of course, but probably not as we were taught when children.  It’s not a matter of asking God to do something special for those we pray for.  It works the other way around; our prayers become conduits through which God’s blessing flows into the lives of those for whom we pray.  It isn’t magic.  There are no incantations to make certain things happen.  We cannot know what God’s blessings will be, only that they will be there.  What about petitions?  You know the kind: I need a new car, a job, someone to love, food, shelter, a chance in life. The doors you need to be opened will be, but they may not be the doors you expected or wanted.  God is not a fairy godmother granting wishes, but God loves you, cares for you, wants to be engaged your life. But there is thinking, acting and working for you to do.  How do we get through life?  With God’s help, but we have to take responsibility for what we do.

That brings me to the second part of prayer: introspection in the form of conversation with God and another person.  The other person could be a spiritual director, confessor, pastor or trusted close friend.  But it could also be a psalmist.  Reading the psalms through in regular rotations is a good way to do that.  My preference is the seven week cycle associated with the Daily Office, but any way will do.  In the psalms you will meet every conceivable human emotion: the good, bad and ugly.  The open opportunity to converse with them, even argue.  One psalmist implores God to kill his enemies, and you say that’s not nice, in fact it’s evil.  But wait, do I have enemies?  Do I want them dead?  What does God say about enemies?  Can I do that?  Another psalmist says that even in the valley of death, God sets a table for him in the presence of his enemies. What does that mean?  Are the enemies sitting at table too?  Why not?  Does that shared table make a difference?  What might that look like in my life?  And so the conversation goes. 

 As for me, I engage most fully with the psalmist of Psalm 119, the longest of all psalms.  Its many stanzas, grouped in sections by the Hebrew alphabet, explore what it means to read, mark, study and inwardly digest God’s holy word.  It soars to the height of trust in God’s law, descends to the depth of human inability to follow it, boasts of personal perfection, and pleads for enlightenment.  It begs the reader into conversation and argument with the psalmists, one’s own self, and God.  It may not be a way that works for you, but there is a way, and I encourage you to find it, making it your daily discipline.