A fundamentalist minister asked to visit with me about a couple of my articles published in the local paper. It was years ago, shortly after I’d become an Episcopal priest. The articles were about my changing views on homosexuality and the blessing of same sex unions, which I favored. It was quite a change from a short essay I’d written a few years earlier on why the church should not bless them. That one, thankfully, got no farther than among a few friends.
We invited him, and one evening he came to explain why homosexuality was a sin. He understood it as perverted sexual adventurism engaged by the mentally ill. He could not imagine homosexuality outside the realm of the sex act, which, as far as he could tell, was the only reason anyone would choose to be a homosexual. As he kept talking it was clear that the question of homosexuality was only a subset of an obsession with all sexual acts and desires central to his understanding of sin. It seemed the fundamentalist Christianity he represented pivoted on humanity’s depravity, with sex at the center of it. The cure was salvation through Jesus Christ, the golden ring to be grabbed as the Merry Go Round of fallen humanity pivoted around the sin of lustful sex.
He ended his impassioned testimony with an appeal for me to admit that my views on homosexuality were distorted by the same sinful lust all men struggled with, as he confessed his own failure to resist the temptations of pornography. It was quite a show. I always wondered if his confession was real or just evangelical bait. Anyway, we joined hands, I prayed for his salvation and said goodbye. He left disappointed that I remained unconverted and condemned. I suspect he said his own prayers that I’d never write an article about him. Well, here it is, almost thirty years later. I think he’s safely anonymous.
I hadn’t thought about that visit for years, but was reminded of it by news reports about the Atlanta massage spa killings. The killer apparently came out of a fundamentalist community obsessed with sinful sex and gender rules. What is it about sex, this most natural and necessary gift, that causes some religions to demonize it? What is it about gender that causes some religions to tightly objectify men, women, and children to the exclusion of their identity as unique persons, children of God beloved for who they are, as they are? Fundamentalist Christians aren’t the only ones. The Wahhabi version of Islam in Saudi Arabia and the Taliban of Afghanistan are worse. The demonization of sex appears to be closely linked with a belief in male dominance, female submissiveness, and strict rules about family life. It’s a recipe for abuse and perversion. What is it that gets some people so fixated on that?
Psychologists have their answers. As a priest, I believe it’s also a problem of idolatry. When religion insists on strict rules for the correct structure of personal life, and fetishizes what it says are sinful behaviors, it creates idols displacing the God whom it claims to serve. The thing demonized becomes a bizarre object of bizarre worship. More recent conservative Christian friends appear to argue that their views on things sexual is the glue that holds all morality together. If that goes, like ancient Rome, we’ll be overrun with drunken orgies and society will collapse.
Jesus called us to follow him on the path of loving God, neighbor and self. The signposts marking the way include walking humbly with God, mourning for our part in the abuse of creation and each other, showing mercy, making peace, acting with integrity, seeking reconciliation, letting yes be yes and no be no, praying for persecutors, avoiding displays of piety, serving God not wealth, respecting all that is holy, and keeping only Christ at the center of our lives. What about sex? Honor the dignity of every person, and uphold the integrity of every relationship. That should cover it.
How does this persons that you talk about differ (or not) from being Carnal?
Carnal is is physical, so carnal knowledge has come to mean sexually physical knowledge, or more bluntly, hands on experience. My guess is that the guy had plenty of it and was ridden with guilt about it. But it’s only a guess. I could be wrong.
Well, I’m glad to read that your views on gays and same-gender marriage have changed. 🤗
It has seemed to me, over and over again, that those who are focused on the “sin” of sex are processing their own struggles. Oftentimes the most homophobic of persons turns out to be a closeted gay.
In your piece, it is the fact that he stated his struggle with pornography. Bingo! I think you are onto something about being overly sex-focused as a form of idolatry. My wonderment is this: spirituality and sexuality are very close in our human psyche. Could being overly focused on sex as sin, especially “those” people’s sex, be a way of avoiding one’s own spirituality, one’s own deeper relationship with the Holy? If so, I think your thought of it being idolatry hits the mark.