Well, the Trumpeter in chief sent a fund raising letter to me. It arrived just a few hours ago. Wow! I know you want to know, so let’s take a look together.
He’s truly humbled, he says, and I think we can all agree that a humbled Trump is a good thing. So let’s go on. Of course it’s a campaign to make American great again. That should go without saying, but he does anyway. I’ve tried to figure out what great means, and have concluded that it is a wonderfully useful word with no concrete meaning yet it elicits emotional responses of generalized agreement. If I say that dinner was “great, just great,” others will nod agreeably. No one will have any idea what great actually means, but each will feel a meaning that suits them, while assuming that others feel something similar. I guess America was great, isn’t great now, and needs to become great again. That’s just great!
Moving on; he announced that entire communities are reeling as factories shut down and jobs go overseas, all due to over-regulation and high taxes. The loss of well paid manufacturing jobs is a reality going back thirty years or more. That manufacturing employment has been on a slow but steady rise for the last six years seems to have gone unnoticed. To be fair, that hasn’t helped communities where entire industries have shut down. They hurt. Multinational corporations have little loyalty to the communities in which they operate, and that is a real problem. Going offshore is just a bottom line calculation, no offense intended. Trump will tell them they can’t do that anymore. I know they’ll listen in trembling fear of the deal maker in chief. The Trumpeter didn’t mention trade agreements in this letter, but I bet he does in the next one because they are handy scape goats. Flawed though they are, there is not much evidence that they’re the reason for jobs being moved offshore, but they still make terrific scape goats. As for regulations and taxes, they appear to have had little effect on corporate profits, but that’s another issue because there are problems with them.
What the Trumpeter wanted to drive home is that he is not “Crooked Hillary,” a phrase he likes so much he repeated it three times. And who would have the temerity to be on her side? The “biased hacks that pass as journalist …acting as PR agents for Hillary…[who] twist everything I say…and use vicious smears to try to undercut my momentum.” Golly. Who knew? Biased hacks, all of them. Even the Foxes can’t be trusted these days. They are not alone, Hillary, excuse me, “Crooked Hillary” is also supported by “phony establishment allies.” You know who they are. They are the ones out to enrich themselves (and their special interests) at the expense of Main Street.
If he’s not “Crooked Hillary,” who is he? He’s the one who will bring jobs back, build a wall and make Mexico pay for it, tear up the “terrible” Iranian deal, and make Muslim extremists pay dearly. That certainly clears things up. When he is president America will start winning again. Winning, I take it, means that under his leadership America will dictate terms and conditions to the rest of the world. There are some interesting nuances about that in his speeches, but not in the fund raising letter. It’s a quasi-isolationist position in which America would pick fights only where it is assured of victory. You know, like invading Grenada. You remember that. Otherwise, America would leave the world alone to do whatever it wants, except for Russia, we should be more friendly with Russia. He said that a day or two ago.
That’s about it. He closed with a reminder that there is work to be done to counter liberal lies and vicious attacks, oh, and send money. Now you know.