I want an Apple iPad! I don’t need one. I can get along very well without one. But I want one just the same. It’s not a matter of conspicuous consumption. No, it’s entirely different. It’s just such a cool toy, and, at my advanced age, it resurrects the same feelings I had as a little boy paging through the toy section of the Sears catalogue to find the one special toy that lit up my imagination and fantasies. The iPad is that toy: an absolutely unnecessary gadget to be had for no other reason than the fun I can anticipate, in spite of the wisdom of age that reminds me that toys seldom deliver a full measure of anticipated fun. I want an Apple iPad. The big problem is, who can I go whine to until they either give in or send me to my room? I could talk to God about this, but I already know his answer. Maybe I could ask Joel Osteen.