Most of us wonder about the meaning of our lives. We want them to be meaningful to us, self satisfying, and it’s gratifying when meaning is affirmed by public acclaim. But questions about whether one’s life has purpose that benefits others? The two—meaning and purpose—are related, but not the same. A life deeply meaningful and satisfying to the self, while also benefiting the well-being of others, may be the most fulfilling of all. But it need not be that way. A life meaningful to oneself might offer no apparent benefit to others. In its corrupted form, it will be harmful to self and others. Likewise, a life committed to serving a necessary purpose can be a life of joyless drudgery—and in its corrupted form, may serve a malevolent goal.
Most people hope to lead a self-satisfying, meaningful life that also serves a useful purpose in society. Some thinkers, emotionally worn down by the inhumanity of economic depression and global war, concluded that life had no meaning and served no purpose. However influential their views were for a time, the resilience of human nature—and its universal desire and hope for meaning and purpose—could not be extinguished. The question of how one’s life can have meaning and purpose continues to dominate the human horizon. The so-called midlife crisis is one expression of its persistent presence.
I suspect these questions are always lurking in the back of our minds, but they tend to come forward at three key stages in life. The first is during the teenage years, when the cusp of adulthood is in sight, but hormonal and physical changes, peer pressure, and the lure of new adventures raise the questions: Who am I? Where am I going? The answers at that age tend to be shaped more by imagination than reason.
The second stage comes a few years later, as the responsibilities of adulthood become real. Here I am—but what does my life mean? How can I make something of this and is this all there is? How do I compare with others like me?
The third major stage arrives with retirement. Many come to recognize that their lifetime accumulation of skill, knowledge, and wisdom—combined with physical and mental energy that resists too much rest—leads to a desire for renewed meaning and purpose.
The answer to living a meaningful, purposeful life is always unique to each person. Yet some unifying principles remain.
Created in the image of God, we are called out of love to be agents of love in a world desperate for it. Love expressed in words and deeds brings healing, reconciliation, and a measure of godly peace that surpasses all understanding. The variety of words and deeds that fulfill God’s call is without number. We don’t need to search far for them—they are present in what we say and do every day. Doors of opportunity don’t have to be hunted down as they’re constantly placed before us. Whether we notice them or choose to walk through them is another matter—but they are there.
There are, however, a few caveats.
A life of purpose that benefits others cannot be for them if it is not also with them. That means their needs, desires, and ways of doing things must be respected and given precedence. Purposeful acts imposed upon others “for their own good” rarely succeed and often backfire.
We are called to be agents of God’s grace—but as caregivers, not cure-givers. God’s healing and reconciling power may work through what we say and do, but it is God’s power, not ours. We are not present to fix what we think is wrong in someone else’s life.
Self-care is essential to a meaningful, purposeful life. Attending to what is personally meaningful—even if it serves no immediate benefit to others—is vital. Yet, because we are social creatures not meant to live in isolation, life becomes even more powerful when shared with others. Participating in meaningful activities with others strengthens both our sense of purpose and our connection to the world around us.